Releasing Mommy Guilt: How to Balance Ambition, Love, and Presence as a Working Mom

Odetta Rockhead-Kerr
Aug 11, 2025
3 min read

Mother’s Day is a time to celebrate love, sacrifice, and the quiet strength mothers carry every single day. But I want to start this conversation with something deeper—something that has followed me for years: Mommy guilt.

Even if you’re not a mother, this message matters. Understanding it can build empathy and grace between partners, families, and friends.

By age 27, I was leading over 2,000 team members across countries—Jamaica, the Dominican Republic, the U.S., Ghana, Mexico, India, the Philippines. From the outside, my life looked like a dream: passport stamps, career milestones, leadership roles.

But with every takeoff, I wasn’t just flying toward opportunity—I was flying away from my heart… away from my son. That’s when I met a constant companion many working mothers know: Mommy guilt.

The Sacred Tension

Mommy guilt lives in the space between two truths:

You’re building a better life for your family.
You’re missing moments you can’t get back—bedtime stories, sports games, spontaneous hugs.

For a long time, I wrestled with both. But I’ve learned that in that tension lies wisdom—not shame. It’s the space where we ask better questions:

What truly matters?
What does success feel like, not just look like?
How do I carry both ambition and presence without breaking myself in the process?

The answer? It’s possible—but it takes intention.

A Mother’s Day Memory That Changed Me

One Mother’s Day, fresh off a red-eye flight and running on little sleep, my son asked me to take him to Coral Cliff Kids Gaming Lounge in Montego Bay. We played basketball for hours, and he beat kids twice his age.

With his saved-up tickets, he proudly bought me a bracelet. It wasn’t fancy—it broke soon after—but it was the purest gift of love. I kept it, not for its beauty, but for its meaning.

Because it’s never about the price of the gift—it’s about the heart of the giver.

What I’ve Learned About Releasing Mommy Guilt

Through years of balancing a demanding career and motherhood, I’ve gathered six truths that help me—and other mothers I admire—release the grip of guilt.

1. Breathe First

Like the oxygen mask rule on airplanes—take care of yourself so you can take care of them. Rest, nourish yourself, and create space to recharge. It’s not selfish—it’s survival.

2. Reflect Honestly

Ask yourself: What would I have wanted my own mother to do? Sometimes, prioritizing career and stability is the greatest gift you can give your child.

3. Identify the Source of Guilt

Is it coming from your own values, or from someone else’s judgment? If it’s external noise, protect your peace. If there’s truth in it, address it with compassion, not shame.

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4. Prioritize Presence Over Perfection

It’s not about doing everything. It’s about creating intentional moments that matter—baking together, watching a show, having meaningful conversations.

5. Accept You’ll Miss Some Moments

You can’t be at every school event. Instead, find ways to still be present—through photos, video calls, or celebrating together later. What matters most is that they feel seen and loved.

6. Remember: This Season Won’t Last Forever

Your children’s needs will change. Your workload will shift. One day, you may wish you’d continued to pursue your dreams—not given them up entirely.

The Truth About Mommy Guilt

Science shows guilt doesn’t actually make us better—it pushes us toward short-term comfort over long-term fulfillment. Mommy guilt is a sign of how deeply you care, but don’t let it drive permanent decisions in temporary seasons.

You’re not choosing between your child and your dream—you’re showing them what it looks like to dream with courage.